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Submitted by Peth, New Jersey Violations: Frequent Lighter Card
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Violations Cited
- Unharmonious Arrangement Violation: Yard decorations should be placed in aesthetically pleasing arrangements. Please refer to other rules for tips. Lining up the figures in rows or alphabetically is still not pleasing, organized yes, pleasing, no.
- Griswold Family Violation: If your neighbors have nicknamed you the Griswold family and you are aware of this (you have rude neighbors, your nickname should never be divulged), you probably shouldn’t tell people.
- Monochromatic Violation: If your decorating theme involves the over-use of one color, you are in violation.
- W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation: Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!
- King Kong Complex Violation: If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!
- Seizur-ific Violation: Sometimes using foil is just a little too much when combined with all of those bright lights. Also, too much blinking or out of sync movement can put you in jeopardy of losing your Christmas light license.
- Frequent Lighter Card: If you have the electric company or an electrician on speed dial, you need a new hobby.
- P.O.W. (Prisoners of a Wall) Violation: Trapping your Christmas village behind a fence is way too constricting for the purpose that these figures must serve during this time of year. Free the inflatables!
- More is Not Less Violation: Just another reminder that Christmas is a season of minimalism. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Remember that other cliché; less is more? It really is. Less of an energy bill is more money in your pocket to give to others or to buy something nice to not put on your lawn.
- Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation: These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.
- Multiple Clauses Violation: There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.
- Elves: While we are on the subject. This is one group of people that even we don’t mess with. Everyone knows that Santa hardly does any work at the North Pole. His input on who’s naughty or nice is non-existent. He’s too busy making mall appearances and such. The elves are the ones that MapQuest directions for Santa, they check the list, they pack the presents, THEY are in charge. Go buck wild with the elves…if you must.
- Intermingling Violation: This is strictly prohibited. There should not be a North Pole sign lit up outside of the manger scene. A giant inflatable Santa should not be peering into the manger. Jesus was born in a manger, a place of nothingness, a symbol of scarcity and minimalism. Santa and friends next to the manger is mockery of the Lord! They are taunting the KING!
- Snowman In-Laws Violation: I hate to say it but we MUST have limitations on how many snowmen may appear on the lawn of the average single family dweling. The average family size in the United States is 3.14 with the average household size being 2.59 (US Census Bureau). That being said, we will be generous and say that there cannot be a family of snowmen that exceeds 4 on your lawn. Four is plenty. Again, real snowmen, inflatable snowmen, plastic snowmen, etc are not classified differently, they are still snowmen.
13 comments:
Dueling . . . or in cohorts?
NASA just called- they said to turn down your lights!
I live in Jersey....where are these houses? Want to make sure I don't move next door to them!
This is so funny. It looks like they are competing for some holiday event lol!
Oh my gosh! That is too FUNNY!! If they're not related or very close friends, this must be a very interesting neighbor relationship. If it's a competition, that sure must take the fun out of decorating. If this is a husband thing, I'm sure their wives must be ready to check themselves into an insane asylum!
IIIII CANT SEEEEEEEE
I personally think this is fantastic. I happen to be one of the freaks that lights up there street at Christmas. I am accused of intermingling. I must go out now and move Charlie Brown and gang for the Jesus family. I do not have as big a yard as these folks. I love this site. Happy Holidays to you and yours!
starving children in Africa have flies buzzing around their heads, not sugar plum fairies dancing in them... I dont even know what the hell a sugar plum fairy is anyway, but this seems to be a waste of electricity.
If these people were smart they's be selling hot choco, singing christmas carols and encouraging their neighbors to join in the fun. I used to live in Stockton, CA and there is one street there that has at LEAST a dozen houses like this, it is awesome. There are a few more houses ever year that participate, I remember when my kids were young we used to put them in the car and go for the lights cruise, they loved it, the whole neighborhood did, if you didn't want to do this sort of display you didn't move there its just understood. How cool.
Damn Funny!
Did anyone happen to click on the enlarged view and scroll through this person's pictures? What is up with they guy full of blood everywhere carrying a bloody tire iron????? WTF? Scary. I hope that is fake...
No, no, it's the pic above this one. That is the one to click on and see strange serial killer looking dude.
Looks like they are ready for war against each other!! My eyes hurt after looking at it so funny though!! omigosshh i cannt seeeee!!
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