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Submitted by Someone in Colorado
Violations: Snowman In-Laws
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Violations Cited
- Unharmonious Arrangement Violation: Yard decorations should be placed in aesthetically pleasing arrangements. Please refer to other rules for tips. Lining up the figures in rows or alphabetically is still not pleasing, organized yes, pleasing, no.
- Griswold Family Violation: If your neighbors have nicknamed you the Griswold family and you are aware of this (you have rude neighbors, your nickname should never be divulged), you probably shouldn’t tell people.
- Monochromatic Violation: If your decorating theme involves the over-use of one color, you are in violation.
- W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation: Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!
- King Kong Complex Violation: If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!
- Seizur-ific Violation: Sometimes using foil is just a little too much when combined with all of those bright lights. Also, too much blinking or out of sync movement can put you in jeopardy of losing your Christmas light license.
- Frequent Lighter Card: If you have the electric company or an electrician on speed dial, you need a new hobby.
- P.O.W. (Prisoners of a Wall) Violation: Trapping your Christmas village behind a fence is way too constricting for the purpose that these figures must serve during this time of year. Free the inflatables!
- More is Not Less Violation: Just another reminder that Christmas is a season of minimalism. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Remember that other cliché; less is more? It really is. Less of an energy bill is more money in your pocket to give to others or to buy something nice to not put on your lawn.
- Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation: These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.
- Multiple Clauses Violation: There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.
- Elves: While we are on the subject. This is one group of people that even we don’t mess with. Everyone knows that Santa hardly does any work at the North Pole. His input on who’s naughty or nice is non-existent. He’s too busy making mall appearances and such. The elves are the ones that MapQuest directions for Santa, they check the list, they pack the presents, THEY are in charge. Go buck wild with the elves…if you must.
- Intermingling Violation: This is strictly prohibited. There should not be a North Pole sign lit up outside of the manger scene. A giant inflatable Santa should not be peering into the manger. Jesus was born in a manger, a place of nothingness, a symbol of scarcity and minimalism. Santa and friends next to the manger is mockery of the Lord! They are taunting the KING!
- Snowman In-Laws Violation: I hate to say it but we MUST have limitations on how many snowmen may appear on the lawn of the average single family dweling. The average family size in the United States is 3.14 with the average household size being 2.59 (US Census Bureau). That being said, we will be generous and say that there cannot be a family of snowmen that exceeds 4 on your lawn. Four is plenty. Again, real snowmen, inflatable snowmen, plastic snowmen, etc are not classified differently, they are still snowmen.
13 comments:
AAHHhhhh, so good for someone to tell the truth. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Lights should be used with caution. Decorations should be used for beautification only, not just bought because they are cheap and large. Thanks for your in-site.
I guess after seeming Christmas puke all over the other houses on this site, I just don't see the tackiness in this house.
This is actually kinda pretty...compared to all the rest. Very much enjoyed them all!
Jeeezuss Louizzus !!!!
What I want to know is...Where do these people STORE all this crap?!!?!
I don't see what in the world is wrong with this? I like it. It isn't at all tack, and the owner actually did some good. I may be weird, but two other people liked it also, so what's the deal with this?
This one's really pretty?
I think your site is pretty awesome. I'm impressed with all the hard work that goes into many of the yards shown and it gives me some ideas for my own. It's the best thing that propagates the Christmas cheer and spirit in a neighborhood. For some folk it helps to drive away the blues many feel during that time. It's just a darn shame you can't see it in that light; that you feel justified in posing such harsh judgement on so many who have found a great outlet for their creativity during the season. Some people prepare throughout the year to build a daunting art display that has a similar effect to fireworks on the 4th of July. Oh, and by the way, do you scrutinize the fireworks with such dry cynicism as well? I'd like to see your yard as a mode of caparison on the site so everyone on the planet can have a look at just how to do it right. Heck, I'll bet you like throwing eggs at the carolers too.
C.S.K.
Cameron Park, CA
I have revised my sites:
http://www.savagebuy.com
http://www.paktc.com
I like snowmen, Nothing wrong or tacky about them! I would not want to pay the costly power bills...For all those lights.
Yeah I'd say this one's not so bad compared to the others, but it'd probably be best with only the lights. Great website. Very funny.
This is a great blog! Love it!
This is a great blog. Love it!
Sorry to send you a comment in Feb. I just found the blog. Has anyone sent you pictures from Hampton in Baltimore? On one block there is every tacky Christmas thing you've ever seen and a few you haven't. And we all love it. Baltimore has been the capital of the slightly off-kilter and joyously weird for some time and the 34th St. Christmas decorations are just one of the attractions B-more has to offer. Sometimes you just have to go for tacky. JB
It's a great blog. I Love Christmas
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