TackyChristmasYards: My Electric Bill is BIGGER Than Yours!

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Electric Bill is BIGGER Than Yours!

(Click on image to see enlarged version)

Submitted by Peth, New Jersey

Violations: King Kong Complex (What is that "thing" next to Santa on the left?), More is NOT Less, W.T.H! (Is that a ferris wheel on your porch), Griswold Family, Frequent Lighter Card

7 comments:

Anonymous said...: Mine eyes of seen the glory. Me like.; December 21, 2007 at 9:57 PM
Anonymous said...: I think the thing on the left is a Nutcracker!; December 22, 2007 at 12:35 AM
Anonymous said...: I love all of the yards I have seen. I personally think the more the better. Christmas does only come once a year!; December 22, 2007 at 2:53 PM
Anonymous said...: You know 'anonymous' you are what they mean when they say grinch, what is your problem anyway? I've seen that same RUDE comment on a whole lot of these. If you think it should be banned then leave and don't come back. I for one know that I'd be fine with that.; December 22, 2007 at 4:56 PM
Anonymous said...: it does look like a nutcracker! how is that a rude comment? turn off the computer and television and get a life you loser.

Peace!; December 22, 2007 at 8:31 PM
Anonymous said...: A lot of people have been posting rude comments, under the vise of being "anonymous" -- if it contained any hate or vulgarity, I have been removing it. The "anonymous" that is being called rude is someone who said some pretty rotten stuff earlier- it isn't the one trying to identify holiday staples in the form of large-light-ups! :-D Sorry for the confusion, I am only getting rid of the comments that are WAY out of hand.; December 23, 2007 at 12:30 AM
Anonymous said...: I just wanna know who has the time to put all these lights, attach all the proper extension cords make sure all the strands are working....I would drive myself crazy just trying to put even a qauter of what these people put up.; December 23, 2007 at 12:58 AM

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Violations Cited

Unharmonious Arrangement Violation: Yard decorations should be placed in aesthetically pleasing arrangements. Please refer to other rules for tips. Lining up the figures in rows or alphabetically is still not pleasing, organized yes, pleasing, no.
Griswold Family Violation: If your neighbors have nicknamed you the Griswold family and you are aware of this (you have rude neighbors, your nickname should never be divulged), you probably shouldn’t tell people.
Monochromatic Violation: If your decorating theme involves the over-use of one color, you are in violation.
W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation: Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!
King Kong Complex Violation: If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!
Seizur-ific Violation: Sometimes using foil is just a little too much when combined with all of those bright lights. Also, too much blinking or out of sync movement can put you in jeopardy of losing your Christmas light license.
Frequent Lighter Card: If you have the electric company or an electrician on speed dial, you need a new hobby.
P.O.W. (Prisoners of a Wall) Violation: Trapping your Christmas village behind a fence is way too constricting for the purpose that these figures must serve during this time of year. Free the inflatables!
More is Not Less Violation: Just another reminder that Christmas is a season of minimalism. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Remember that other cliché; less is more? It really is. Less of an energy bill is more money in your pocket to give to others or to buy something nice to not put on your lawn.
Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation: These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.
Multiple Clauses Violation: There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.
Elves: While we are on the subject. This is one group of people that even we don’t mess with. Everyone knows that Santa hardly does any work at the North Pole. His input on who’s naughty or nice is non-existent. He’s too busy making mall appearances and such. The elves are the ones that MapQuest directions for Santa, they check the list, they pack the presents, THEY are in charge. Go buck wild with the elves…if you must.
Intermingling Violation: This is strictly prohibited. There should not be a North Pole sign lit up outside of the manger scene. A giant inflatable Santa should not be peering into the manger. Jesus was born in a manger, a place of nothingness, a symbol of scarcity and minimalism. Santa and friends next to the manger is mockery of the Lord! They are taunting the KING!
Snowman In-Laws Violation: I hate to say it but we MUST have limitations on how many snowmen may appear on the lawn of the average single family dweling. The average family size in the United States is 3.14 with the average household size being 2.59 (US Census Bureau). That being said, we will be generous and say that there cannot be a family of snowmen that exceeds 4 on your lawn. Four is plenty. Again, real snowmen, inflatable snowmen, plastic snowmen, etc are not classified differently, they are still snowmen.

TackyChristmasYards

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Electric Bill is BIGGER Than Yours!

7 comments:

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Violations Cited