TackyChristmasYards: Paul Bunyan and the headless Christmas ox.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Paul Bunyan and the headless Christmas ox.

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Submitted by Jennifer, Tampa Bay, Florida
Why would someone replace the head of an ox with a wreath? What happened to his head? If anyone looks guilty here, it's the guy with the big axe.

Violations: W.T.H.?!?, King Kong Complex

10 comments:

Anonymous said...: Having visited "The Trees of Mystery," with our family during the Thanksgiving holiday, we were told what happened to Blue's head. Two days before Thanksgiving, somehow rainwater had gotten into the area where his head used to be, and began filling up. The weight of the water was too much for ol' Blue, and his head came crashing to the ground, decapitating him in an instant!! The park was closed at the time, so no other injuries occurred. The wreath was placed there because Friday following Thanksgiving, the park has their "Christmas Parade,and Light Festival" and in lieu of a big ol' gaping hole where Blue's head used to be, they hung a blue tarp and decorated it with a wreath.; December 25, 2007 at 8:47 PM
Nik-Ol said...: Everything's so funny here I don't know what exactly to comment on. Lol!

"If anyone looks guilty here, it's the guy with the big axe." That's tooooooooooo funny! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!; December 28, 2007 at 12:44 PM
Web-OJ said...: Thanks to anonymous we atleast have the reason. But it's so not fair to the ox! **** Giggle!; December 28, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Anonymous said...: I just want to know what does the man with the axe have to do with christmas? Just wondering.; December 28, 2007 at 1:31 PM
Anonymous said...: Hilareous.

But didn't that use to be located in Brainerd, Minnesota?; December 28, 2007 at 4:39 PM
Anonymous said...: Thanks for the laughs!; December 29, 2007 at 9:16 PM
Anonymous said...: Hey I've been there! According to my Grandparents when my Uncle was little he had to point out the size of the big blue balls on that there old ox lol.; December 30, 2007 at 7:50 PM
Anonymous said...: Isn't "Babe" a little, um, too "hung" for a suburban front yard holiday decoration?; December 31, 2007 at 8:58 PM
Anonymous said...: This is in Oregon - I was there years ago and took a somewhat strategic picture of me with my hands in the air so it looks like I'm holding the ox's... well, you get the idea :) Hey, I was in college at the time and it was a great discussion piece for my dorm wall!; January 31, 2008 at 11:48 AM
Anonymous said...: What happened to its head? Is there some story or legend associated with it.

simple way of life; March 12, 2008 at 6:34 AM

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Violations Cited

Unharmonious Arrangement Violation: Yard decorations should be placed in aesthetically pleasing arrangements. Please refer to other rules for tips. Lining up the figures in rows or alphabetically is still not pleasing, organized yes, pleasing, no.
Griswold Family Violation: If your neighbors have nicknamed you the Griswold family and you are aware of this (you have rude neighbors, your nickname should never be divulged), you probably shouldn’t tell people.
Monochromatic Violation: If your decorating theme involves the over-use of one color, you are in violation.
W.T.H. (What the Heck!?) Violation: Random, non-holiday decor has no place in December. Just because you were given a cool giant light up smiley face does not mean you should put it on the roof this month!
King Kong Complex Violation: If a giant polar bear is standing anywhere near a mid-sized Santa or the Abominable Snowman is lurking over the manger, do something, quick!
Seizur-ific Violation: Sometimes using foil is just a little too much when combined with all of those bright lights. Also, too much blinking or out of sync movement can put you in jeopardy of losing your Christmas light license.
Frequent Lighter Card: If you have the electric company or an electrician on speed dial, you need a new hobby.
P.O.W. (Prisoners of a Wall) Violation: Trapping your Christmas village behind a fence is way too constricting for the purpose that these figures must serve during this time of year. Free the inflatables!
More is Not Less Violation: Just another reminder that Christmas is a season of minimalism. Too much of anything is not a good thing. Remember that other cliché; less is more? It really is. Less of an energy bill is more money in your pocket to give to others or to buy something nice to not put on your lawn.
Fallen Figurines/Drive-by Shooting Victims Violation: These poor souls should not be illuminated. If you aren’t going to go outside to set them all back up, don’t plug them in. No one wants to see Mary and Joseph laying down as if involved in a deadly drive-by shooting.
Multiple Clauses Violation: There is one Santa Claus and only one. I repeat- you may not have more than ONE Santa in your yard at anytime. (The exception is this; if you have a Santa from another culture or a Santa of another ethnicity, THEN you may have another Santa among the deciduous forest that is your yard. This does not mean you may have an inflatable Santa AND a plastic, light-up Santa. Inflatable is not an ethnicity). The same rules apply for Mrs. Claus. Santa is not an adulterer. We must show Santa as an upstanding and moral citizen, despite the 3rd world wages he pays the elves.
Elves: While we are on the subject. This is one group of people that even we don’t mess with. Everyone knows that Santa hardly does any work at the North Pole. His input on who’s naughty or nice is non-existent. He’s too busy making mall appearances and such. The elves are the ones that MapQuest directions for Santa, they check the list, they pack the presents, THEY are in charge. Go buck wild with the elves…if you must.
Intermingling Violation: This is strictly prohibited. There should not be a North Pole sign lit up outside of the manger scene. A giant inflatable Santa should not be peering into the manger. Jesus was born in a manger, a place of nothingness, a symbol of scarcity and minimalism. Santa and friends next to the manger is mockery of the Lord! They are taunting the KING!
Snowman In-Laws Violation: I hate to say it but we MUST have limitations on how many snowmen may appear on the lawn of the average single family dweling. The average family size in the United States is 3.14 with the average household size being 2.59 (US Census Bureau). That being said, we will be generous and say that there cannot be a family of snowmen that exceeds 4 on your lawn. Four is plenty. Again, real snowmen, inflatable snowmen, plastic snowmen, etc are not classified differently, they are still snowmen.

TackyChristmasYards

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Paul Bunyan and the headless Christmas ox.

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